Too often, we move through life on autopilot, letting our habits and environment shape us instead of the other way around. But what if, instead of being victims of our habits, we became their architects? Building the life we want requires intentional design—of both our habits and the environment that sustains them.
Why Our New Year Promises to Change Often Fail
We make bold resolutions, but they often fizzle out. Why? Change isn’t about willpower or grand declarations—it’s about understanding how habits work and rewiring our brains to support the person we want to become.
Reality Lags Behind Habits:
The results we see today tell the story of our past habits, not our current intentions. Change takes time because good habits build slowly, like compounding interest.
Automatic Behaviors and Efficiency:
Our brains are wired to automate behaviors that help us get through the day. Some are useful and necessary for survival (breathing), others not so much (doomscrolling). The downside? We tend to repeat habits—even bad ones—because they’re easy and familiar. We also repeat behaviors that are rewarded quickly.
The Battle Between Instant and Delayed Gratification:
Good habits often reward us slowly—during the first week in the gym, everything hurts and we don’t look any different. Bad habits deliverimmediate dopamine hits (eating junk food, smoking, or gambling). Without a plan, our wiring for instant gratification wins every time.
Change Your Identity, Not Just Your Goals:
Lasting change happens when we shift the story we tell ourselves. Instead of focusing on what we want to achieve, think about who you want to become:
“I want to be a healthy person,” not “I want to fit into my pants from high school.”
“I’m a lifelong learner,” not “I’m going to get another Master’s degree.”
“I’m financially responsible,” not “I’m going to save $10,000 for Spring Break.”
When your habits align with your identity, the small daily choices that drive change feel more natural—and over time, those choices compound into real transformation.
Making New Habits Stick
So how do we actually build habits that last? It starts with intention and simple systems that support change.
Focus on "Who" Not "What":
Decide who you want to become, then as Atomic Habits author, James Clear, says, “cast votes” for that identity every day through your actions. Each small step closes the gap between who you are now and who you want to be.Create Awareness Without Judgment:
Pay attention to the cues and triggers driving your habits. For example, if you always snack at 3 PM, is it hunger, boredom, or stress driving the behavior? Try taking a habit inventory for a few days. Write down, without judgment, the behaviors that make up your day-to-day life then score them as: aligned (6 am gym), misaligned (10 am cigarette), or neutral habits (drive to work) vis-à-vis the person you want to embody.
What Gets Rewarded Gets Repeated:
If a habit feels rewarding, you’re more likely to stick with it. Celebrate small wins, whether it’s ticking off a habit tracker or acknowledging progress. When you find a way to enjoy the journey, even delayed gratification habits become more rewarding and therefore, more likely to stick.
What Gets Measured, Moves:
Tracking creates awareness that drives action. For example, wearing a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) can reveal how your food choices affect your blood sugar, making it easier to change habits around eating. Sometimes just becoming more aware of the impact of our behaviors is enough to change them.
Start Small:
Habits grow best when they’re easy to adopt. Start with something manageable—walk for 5 minutes instead of 30 or meditate for 2 minutes instead of 20. Once the habit is established, you can build on it. James Clear recommends committing to behaviors that can be accomplished in 2 minutes or less. Put on the shoes vs. run 3 miles. Read one page instead of 50.
Change Your Environment:
Surround yourself with people, places, and structures that support the habits you want. If you want to eat healthier, stock your fridge with nourishing foods and avoid keeping junk food in the house. Your environment should make the right choice the easiest choice.
James Clear’s 4 Laws of Behavior Change
Clear’s framework for creating and breaking habits gives you a practical and repeatable process through which to design lasting change. You don’t have to obey all four laws every time, but the more of these laws you incorporate, the more likely your new habits will stick.
Building Good Habits
Make It Obvious:
Place cues where you’ll see them. Want to work out? Lay out your gym clothes the night before. Want to drink more water? Keep a water bottle on your desk. Wanna walk more? Adopt a dog who will badger you for walks, relentlessly, forever.
Make It Attractive:
Pair your new habit with something you enjoy. For example, listen to your favorite playlist while exercising. The more appealing the habit, the more likely you’ll stick with it.
Make It Easy:
Simplify the behavior as much as possible. Remove friction so it’s easy totake action—leave your running shoes by the door or pre-cut vegetables for healthy snacks.
Make It Satisfying:
Celebrate small wins or build in immediate rewards. Whether it’s a checkmark on a calendar or a self-pat on the back, find ways to make the habit feel good in the moment. *Pro tip – make sure your reward does not cast a vote against the identity you are creating. For example, ice cream is not a great reward for consistency at the gym. Splurging on a luxury handbag is not a great reward for financially responsible habits.
Breaking Bad Habits
To break habits you want to leave behind, invert the 4 laws:
Make It Invisible: Remove triggers. If you’re trying to stop snacking, don’t keep chips in the house. If others in your house eat differently, put it out of your sight.
Make It Unattractive: Reframe the habit’s consequences. Focus on the negatives, like how junk food makes you feel sluggish.
Make It Difficult: Add friction. If you want to cut down on screen time, log out of apps or delete them entirely.
Make It Unsatisfying: Add an immediate consequence. For example, tell a friend about your goal and ask them to hold you accountable if you slip up. Add a financial cost to drive it home.
Final Thoughts: Small Wins, Big Change
Building a life you love is about designing habits that support the person you want to become. Start small, focus on identity, and leverage systems to make change easier. Remember, you’re not just trying to achieve a goal—you’re crafting the story of who you are.
So, who will you become this year? The choice is yours. Design wisely.
Comments